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How To Teach Your Children Love
By Alvin Poh Hee Kwang, Fri Dec 9th
I was in the life insurance sales industry for over 8 years. Oneof best teaching that I have learned from the industry and foundin all top sales professionals and successful individuals is: "All super successful individuals love people more than theylove money." And it is their love for people that make them wealthy and rich.
I share this same teaching with my children since young. I trulybelieve that it will be the most important factors to help thembecome more successful in life. Love refers to individual and personal caring that goes bothbeneath and beyond loyalty and respect. It includes the love forfriends, neighbors and even adversaries. And most important ofall, the lifelong commitment of love for the family. We learn to love others by serving them and the love isunconditional. We may not always love those who serve us. Theirlove depending on how it is given, may spoilt us or intimidateus. However unconditional, understanding and fully accepting lovewarms us without reservation and brings about our reciprocallove. We may not love those who serve us, but we definitely lovethose whom we serve. I'd like to share the following tips where parents can giveunconditional love to their children and giving them theopportunities to serve. They are also the things that I live by: Clearly Separate Dissatisfaction With Behavior From Love ofChild Parents must always expect their children to make mistakes andoccasionally demonstrate unacceptable behaviors despite manyprevious reminders. When your child misbehave, it is your responsibility as parentto correct him. However at every instance of discipline, youneed to reiterate that it is what the child did that you do notlike and that your love for him cannot be altered by anything.Mentioned frequently to your children of all ages and back it upwith a hug and physical affection. Here is an example of what I did with my four-old-year daughterthree weeks ago when she misbehaved in class by playing duringlesson and not giving attention to what her teacher wasteaching. I reprimanded
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First of all, congratulations to you for taking some...
her. I said, "Ethel, I am really upset when youplayed with your friends in class while all of you are supposedto listen to what your teacher had to say. You are there inclass to learn. Do you understand me?" Her tears started to roll after a long pause. And I sternlycontinued "Dear, will you promise papa that you will payattention in class and if your friends misbehave during lesson,you will be the leader by telling them to give respect andattention to your teacher while he is teaching?" She nodded and more tears started to roll out from her eyes.After another long pause, she asked "Papa, will you still loveme?" I follow up by saying "Dear, papa is angry because of what youdid. However I will always love you and as much as ever. Justpromise me that you will be a good student in class and showrespect to your teacher. Will you do that?" She nodded and stood quietly, waiting for me to say more.Instead of continuing to reprimand her, I close the episode bysaying "Come, let papa give you a hug." She threw herself over me while tears continue to roll. From hereyes, I can tell that she knew that she was in the wrong and atthe same, she felt a sense a security that her papa will alwaysbe there to love her, no matter what happen. This event happened about three weeks ago from the time I amwriting this. Since then, I have not hear any complain from theteacher. I hope our little girl will continue to be a good andattentive student in class. Develop A Service Orientation You and your children can learn collectively to love throughserving. Serve in some kind of community projects where yourfamily can help others who are in need. Look for charitableservices that you can rendered as a family and that can involveyour children. By serving others, you children will learn andappreciate the true meaning of love. Taking Care of Younger Siblings If you have children of 4-years-old and above, you can teachthem love by giving them the privilege of helping and servingtheir younger siblings. Call your older child a tutor and tell him that the youngerchild is a student. Tell the older one that he will have theopportunity of helping the little one in many ways. He can sitnext to the child at meal time, helping him to cut the vegetableor meat into smaller piece and taking milk for him. He can alsoholds the hand of the younger one while traveling on the road.He can read bed time stories to the younger one or simplyhelping you to watch out for his siblings while you are having aquick shower. Your older child will not only learn to love whom he serves butwill have an added appreciation for you as his parent as hehelps with things you usually do. Show Physical Love Parents should show their love openly and teach their childrenthat overt affection and love is perfectly okay. Give hugs andkisses. Schooling children need to feel their parents' physicallove just as much as when they are pre-schoolers. Give hugs toyour children when they leave home for school, back home fromoutside, pop into bed etc - a sincere and fuzzy hug isappreciate by everyone. Be sure to tell your children verballythat you love them as well as providing your hugs. About the author:Article by Alvin Poh, founder of Learning Champ, a parentingwesbite that provides information and resources to parents, whowant to help their children develop the important skills andmind set for a brighter future -> http://www.learningchamp.com
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